Friday, May 16, 2008

I kinda always knew I'd end up your ex-girlfriend

When I finally ended the relationship that which was possibly nine of the longest months of my life back in 2004, I had told the guy that while he was wonderfully sweet and caring and appreciative and adoring of me, he was not in the place in his life I needed him to be in for me to foresee a relationship with him. It was a pretty big move, on my part, because up until then, I'd never really and truly been the one to stop a relationship dead in its tracks like that. It took a month or so of repeating this thought process to him, each conversation growing a little less sugar-coated and a little more blunt until I pretty much was saying "Get your shit together. Call me when you do."

When he admitted to me that in the last few months of 'us' that he'd cheated on me, I really didn't even care. I was so far past that and I suspected it was nothing more than a tactic on his part to make me jealous and want to come back to him. It didn't work.

We stayed in contact off and on for the next year and a half. When he did another stint in a halfway house for reduced jailtime, I drove out there and visited him, but I was mere days away from meeting Mike.

He called tonight. He's apparently gotten his shit together. And though I don't think it was a plow to try to rekindle anything with me, I get the sense that he is trying to reclaim parts of his pre-current ex-girlfriend life. Despite I being another ex-girlfriend, he sees those random encounters of ours leading up to his meeting her as a good friendship and he was just wanting to say hi.

He sounded happy. He sounded good. A proud father to a 19 month old little girl and someone who's life is definitely in a better place than it was the last time I saw him. I am glad that he called, but I do wonder where (if anywhere) this will go. He has a tendancy to pick pyschos (your's truly being excluded, naturally) and I was very quick and clear to indicate that I was married and happily at that.

I hate to admit that I have been in relationships in the past where I knew even at the very beginning that it wasn't going to go anywhere near marriage, but I have and more than one. Even more, I hate to admit that he would probably be the first or second name on the list of those relationships, just because he was such a great guy. He was about 110 times more attentive and affectionate than the two previous boyfriends before him and the only man I have found to rival him is Mike.

Guess it's a good thing I married Mike, right?

1 comment:

  1. Isn't it funny to look back at our relationships before marriage. I never thought i'd marry any of the guys I seriously dated before Aaron, but three months into our relationship I just knew he was the man I was meant to marry. And everyday I still feel that way - it's wonderful.