Sunday, July 6, 2008

Somewhere between miserable and happy

Okay . . . so in the last few weeks, I have somewhat come to be more comfortable with how I look. Obviously, there are areas that I would like more toned, more slender - less fat, but all in all, I have become far more "okay" with my body. Also, I have been building a base tan and that has helped me look a bit less thick or I at least like to think so.

But then I met a new friend on the 4th of July and she posted some pictures she took of that day and tagged me in a few. That damn one dimension flattens you out and gives little imagination to your curves.

I know I need to step it up more, get back on the treadmill and get back to counting my points. Same song, same lyrics . . . repeat chorus.

There is this really cute store in the Vancouver Mall (gasp! What???) and not only are their clothes cute, they are affordable and I could sooo see myself wearing about 80% of their stock, if I would just shed the last few pounds that need to go (few? Who am I kidding? I need to drop at least another 20 to really look good in those clothes.).

I really have no excuse, no decent reason to not be losing. I can at least be proud that I am not gaining at school (that seems to be the norm at beauty school, apparently) but I could definitely step it up a bit more and actually see some real results.

And honestly, it is only me that is pushing myself so hard. My husband is unbelievably content with me at this size (or even when I was twenty pounds heavier) but supports me losing to whatever (reasonable) size I want.

I just keep wondering what is it going to take me to get back on that wagon and get my butt into gear. I miss feeling good about myself.

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