Working hard to get my fill

If you had told me a month ago what a rollercoaster May was going to be, I wouldn't have believed you. The ups, the downs, the foreshadowing and the full out surprises that have occured. It will be a month to remember, for sure. 

Big changes have started to roller in a forward motion, both in my personal and professional life. All are scary and exciting at the same time. I have an idea of what the end of June will look like, but who knows. I never would have pictured May shaping up as it has.

Things I have learned in May: 

-the importance of balance.

-people can take steps in the right direction, but are just as capable of backtracking too.

-going for what you want is what is most important. Opinions be damned.

-there is no such thing as bad publicity.

-my wishes are magical.

-All you need in life are some great friends and supportive family. Great family and supportive friends are awesome too.

-People will surprise you. Both in positive and negative ways.

-Playing neutral occasionally really is the way to go.

-Never announce you have a secret if you are woman. Everyone assumes you are pregnant. Even when you aren't.

-I have the greatest parents EVER. Hands down. 

Now I just need to get over this cold and stop sounding like a 60 year old chain smoker. 

Checks and Balances

Lost Tom Sanders (11/21/2008)

Lost Heather, Jessica B and Margaret

Gained Caryn.

Gained Kristie, Tearie, Crystal, Jessyka, Charlotte, Ava, Hallie, Raye and Jessi.

Gained Rondi.

Celebrated my first wedding anniversary

Hit a crossroads in life and paved my own path

Chopped ten inches from my hair

Got bangs. Twice.

Learned my natural haircolor is technically a dark blond.

Met my brother's type of girl (who is awesome).

Finally visited my brother in Seattle and Finally saw the side of Seattle that so many people love.

Totally envied my brother's amazing loft apartment. Best Craigslist find in history.

Fell back in love with writing.

Found the Twilight saga

Graduated.

Gained a professional license.

Earned a better score on my Board Exams than I had expected to.

Dropped twenty pounds.

Branched out in my musical preferences

Saw more snow fall than I have since 2003

Learned how crazy some people can be

Reconnected with an old boyfriend's mom. She is a riot.

Watched Dylan and Nicolle tie the knot.

Watched Sarah's twins grow from babies to toddlers.

Read as four of my favorite bloggers became mothers (some of them, for a second time)

Realized I am still not ready to become a Mommy blogger.

Came to understand more now than ever the life is a compromise.

Pushed myself harder and further than I have in a very long time.

Fulfilled a long time dream of seeing Celine Dion live. Laugh all you want but that woman knows how to put on a show.

Finally got back to Seneca Lake. Got to meet family I hadn't before, connect with adorable children of my cousins. Kicked ass at the family Blackjack table. Finally got to meet my adult cousins as the adult I now am. Gave my aunt a fairly decent haircut with cheap scissors from IKEA. Got to see Tom one last time before he passed.

Got a new sofa, new dining room table and the BEST chocolate chip cookie recipe. EVER.

Enjoyed countless hours with my dearest and closest friends - these incredible women compel me daily to seek out the best in myself and create only the best around me. You know what makes our friendships great? We aren't all exactly alike. We contrast and compliment each other in ways that only the best friendships can.

Built a very cool friendship with my husband. When the honeymoon wears off (and it does), you have to be able to look at this person and know there is more to "you" than whatever those love-filled goggles showed you the first two - three years. Sure, he annoys me and yes, I nag him. But there is no one I would rather stay up until the crack of dawn with, watching movie marathons and making scramby eggs with. Mike and I will be celebrating our 4th Christmas together this year.

Decided next Christmas, I am celebrating it in Hawaii.

2008 was pretty damn great (and I half meant to rhyme), even if it meant stretching our finances to the point they are nearly invisible and severely altering my interpretation of down time. I've come to realize that there will always be an obstacle that I can let get in my way or I can just find a way around it. Mike is unbelievably supportive, sometimes getting more excited about things in my life than I do.

Spare No Expense

With the state of our current finances, Christmas is going to be extremely small for us this year. I am not expecting many (if any) gifts at all, and I am entirely okay with that. But I was thinking about what I would want if money were not scarce and theses were the things that came to mind. It was kind of fun . . .




iHome Portable because I am tired of burning discs of my playlists, my computer's speakers aren't that great and those earphones get uncomfortable after a while.



Nikon D90 - One of  my requirements before we have kids is that I have an excellent camera so I can capture their moments properly. Plus, it would be nice to brush up on my photography skills.



Coach - I sacrificed my Coach handbag for the year (I allow myself one a year) for my GHD flatiron (THE BEST FLATIRON IN THE WORLD!!!) and I don't regret it in the least. But I love this bag and it would look so pretty on me.



J Charm - I have the "B" and I have the "F" Coach charms. I just need the "J" to complete my monogram. And I love the colors!!





Key Fob - I do not discuss much my love for penguins on my blog, for fear that I will come off like the Jessica Alba character in "Good Luck Chuck". But I do love them and about 90% of my Christmas decorations are penguins. If possible, my baby's nursery will be in penguins. Let us not forget this is already waiting for them. But this key fob is adorable and I would carry it year-round.



Horseshoe - I had a good luck duck, but I gave it to a friend when I graduated school last month. But it never hurts to have a little luck on your side, nor does it hurt to sport Tiffany's



Blackberry Pearl - I am notorious for pocket calls (Sorry Aja!!) and have only had clam phones since about 2003, but the Blackberry is so slick and someday, I hope to be busy enough to need something like this to corrdinate my life.


 
Henley B - These townhouses are being built in Vancouver and the houses on the 'island' have garages in the back. Side yards (not shown in the picture) are perfect for a newlywed couple or small family. The fact they are being built walking distance from my parent's house is coincidental, but since I toured the model, I have been aching to make it my home. Maybe in a couple years.



Infiniti G 37 Journey - Sometime in the next year or two, we will be in a place where we can hand my car to Mike and buy me something new (probably with a decent warranty). But if I had my pick  . . . it would be this.

30 Things Women Love that Men Don't Understand

1. Drunk online shopping - Yeah, I don't know about this one

2. Trapeze dresses- I didn't know what it was either. That's why I added a link.

3. Having a good cry - Sometimes, you just have to cry

4. Dark nail polish - "Shades of Dark" By Fingerpaints is a personal fav of mine

5. Reality TV dating shows - They used to hold their charm. Now they are just trainwrecks.

6. Brunch - Omeletes and mimosas. Together. Heaven.

7. Constantly changing one's Facebook status - I know a ton of guys who do it too

8. Frozen yogurt - feels like ice cream, except it doesn't go to your midsection

9. Gossiping—about real life people we know, don't know, or only know through magazines, TV, and movies - We see ourselves in others, or maybe, we don't see it, but its there.

10. Cooing over adorable pictures of baby animals - and LOL Catz.

11. Sexless cotton brief underwear - comfy.

12. The Swiffer - Don't own one but I love the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser

13. "Twilight" - Why is this 13??? It should be right underneath dark nailpolish

14. The music of Beyonce, Chris Brown, and Madonna - Madonna, yes. Beyonce, yes. Chris Brown - yes with Jordin Sparks

15. Musicals - Beautiful men who sing and dance and portray straight men. It's fantasy.

16. Short haircuts - Long hair is work. Short hair is less work.

17. Chuck Bass - Who? Had to look him up. He's on that show Gossip Girls, which I have never watched.

18. Shopping during a crisis - Shopping whenever. It is the hunting and gathering nature in us, only moderized.

19. Multiple bed pillows - I sleep with one. My mother? Like 6. I cannot explain it. But I like how lots of pillows look on a made bed.

20. Girly drinks - Taste lovely, but do not gain the respect from the guys as Whiskey on the rocks. Or Vodka on the rocks. Or Bourbon on the rocks.

21. $50 scented candles - They don't leave soot on your ceilings.

22. Movies starring and/or produced by Drew Barrymore and Reese Witherspoon - Because they just get it.

23. Men who appear dirty and grimy, but are actually totally hot, i.e. Robert Pattinson, Justin Bobby, etc. - Rob Pattinson - swoon, drool, pant. Justin Bobby? Ewww.

24. Michael Cera - Simply perfection. Even if he plays the same character over and over again.

25. Miniatures - It's been a lifelong love.

26. Astrology - Fun to read but I don't know many people who place much stock in it.

27. Collecting magazines - I go through phases where I do and then I purge them all. Right now, there are probably twelve sitting underneath a basket on the back of my toilet. Haven't looked at them in probably 6 months.

28. Dancing - Hell yeah. Been a dancer since I was 5. Men who dance - hot. Men who dance with their women - absolute keepers.

29. Jeans tucked into boots - I don't do it, but ..e super skinny girls, it works

30. Foreplay - You always warm up your engine before you drive your car. 


*** Got to give credit to Nelson on the Buzz for reading this is am and The Frisky for posting it in the first place.***

Why do I want this so badly???

1. Because I don't want to cringe when I see myself:
    A. Naked in a mirror
    B. Fat in a picture
    C. Unable to fit into a cute piece of clothing

2. Because I have too many cute things in my closet I want to wear.

3. Because being happier with myself means being happier with many aspects of my life.

4. Because I don't really like wearing control top underwear or Spanx.

5. Because I want to be thin before I get fat with a pregnancy.

6. Becase I have a box of skimpy underwear I put away years ago, before I ever even met Mike. He deserves to see me in them.

7. Because if I do it, I'll be an inspiration to others in my life who want to lose weight with me.

8. Because I want to look damn good at my high school reunion next year.

9. Because feeling fit and healthy is much better then chocolate, french fries and cheesy bread.

10. Because I am determined to be as hot as my best friends.

11. Because I am sick of shopping for size 12, 14 or XL when an 8, 10 or medium could fit me.

12. So I don't have to do the arm pose or head tilting to look thinner in pictures.

13. Because so many articles of clothing I currently wear would look better on me a little looser.

14. Because there is something so empowering about seeing:
    A. Before and After shots
    B. Clothes fitting that didn't before
    C. The numbers on the scale get lower.

15. Because I can only hide under winter layers for so long.

16. Because standing all day will be easier on my body if I weighed less.

17. Because there are so many foods out there that are tasty and healthy.

18. Because I want to finally fulfill this particular New Year Resolution.

19. Because who doesn't love to hear compliments of how thin/skinny/good they look?

20. Because Mom has put off a family portrait too many years in hopes of us losing weight.

21. Because WW meetings are fun when you don't have to pay for them.

22. Because deep down, I'd love to try on my wedding dress and have it be way too big.

23. Because there is that picture of my mother I would love to look like when I reach that age (I still can!).

24. Because I have been promising myself I would "someday" achieve this for too long.

25. Because I don't want to live my whole adult life feeling fat.

26. Because I deserve to see what my husband sees in me.

27. Because the less I weigh before pregnancy, the less I'll weigh at the end of it.

28. Because if one of the few things we can control in life is our weight, I should be in correct control of my own.

29. Because if I ever meet Mike's co-workers, I want him to be proud of a hot, thin, beautiful wife.

30. Because continually improving myself mind, body and soul is a great path to be on.

Bittersweet Truths

~ I probably packed too much. Chances are, 20 shirts for 7 days is a bit extreme. But who knows what I will be feeling when it is time to get dressed or change. And to be fair, all of the tank tops that I have packed can and probably will be layered.

~ This family reunion probably will not play out like all those family reunion movies we see, where everyone meets up, gets along, gets a little too personal, have some huge emotional break-down/break-through the final night of the reunion and leave feeling some huge sense of resolution and better understanding of themselves, their lives and the direction their family/life is going. Chances are, it will be a day of traveling, a day of hanging out with family I haven't seen mostly since I was 10/14/17, three days of lots and lots of family time with aunts, uncles, cousins and second cousins, mostly getting to know them as you would a friend of a friend at a 4th of July bbq, another day of hanging out with family and then another day of traveling.

~ I will not return home as tan as I would like to think I will. Sure, I'll be more brown than when I left, but I doubt I will be even half as dark as Sarah is already.

~ I will not have as many profound blog posts to share as I hope I do. Or if I do, I will not have enough time to sit down and write/type them out.

~ I will be leaving my husband and therefore, my laptop, here in Washington. I don't know if my brother will be bringing his, but chances are, he'll be leaving his as well, so I will be not posting much while I am gone. But I will be sending pics from my phone to my Flickr account and they will automatically update on my page, so be sure to check throughout the next week. And those of you who have my cell number, text me to take another pic if I haven't taken one in awhile.

~ I am looking for readers who may be interested in posting a guest blog for me while I am gone. Let me know ASAP if you are interested and I'll connect you with Sarah, who will be posting them for me.

~ Sad to admit (really, really sad to admit) but I am going to feel a bit lost without Myspace for a week.