Friday, December 11, 2009

Nothing tastes as good as skinny will feel

    As much as I love food, I hate grocery shopping. Mostly because I am trapped in a building filled with other people, who like me, are on their own missions to collect their own choices of sustenance and entirely oblivious to everyone else around them. Namely, me. Then, there is also the facts that despite my shopping at Winco, I still find I spend at least $40 a week on groceries and every week, I find that I have to go back. Again.

    Mike seems to think because I enjoy clothes shopping and book shopping and craft store shopping, I must enjoy grocery shopping too. Such a man.

    My grandmother, in fact, loves grocery shopping. We can drop her off and swing back by three hours later and she is only then finishing up, having just enjoyed the last 180 minutes of her life as much as I would enjoy an extended version of any movie with Ryan Reynolds and his shirtless abs. If I had the money to, I would pay her to do my grocery shopping for me.

    So yesterday (Thursday) was my day off and naturally, my day to do the dirty deed. I was rounding the last corner of the store on my typical route to the checkout stand and then freedom when I passed the dreaded Little Debbie endcap. With her holiday cakes shaped like Christmas trees and chocolate Christmas trees. Only $1.48 a box! Tasty! Yummy! Disaster waiting to happen!

    See, I know how this all works. I have been faithfully going to the gym for the past month, been working out, doing both weights and cardio and stretching as my personal trainer/husband tells me to and yet, I have not seen the scale move much. I've been maintaining this weight because despite my best efforts at the gym, I have been eating whatever I wanted outside of it. And like anyone who is trying to lose weight, 70% of weight loss is diet.

    Slowly cruising past that end cap, trying my best not to imagine what those Little Debbie cakes tasted like, I remembered Kate Moss's infamous admission that her life motto is "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels". Granted, I don't want to look like Kate Moss. I like my curves. But I hate the ridiculous things I go through now in an attempt to feel okay with how I look whenever I am going out. I hate how I look in most of my clothes and I especially am miserable with the fact that I have a number of items in my closet that still have tags on them, because I have sworn to myself that I will not wear them, not even once, until I am 10 (20, 30, 40) pounds ligther than I currently am.  So I repeated that to myself as I continued towards check out.

     I continued to repeat that mantra as I drove home, made myself lunch and did my best to be satisfied with the salad I had, sans a dessert of Little Debbie.

    Think those treats would be as tempting if they were by a company called "Big Debbie"?

    It is comforting to go to work and know that I am not the only one who is trying to slim their figure and look better for the coming year. Three of my co-workers are currently on week one of the HCG diet (which involves consuming only 500 calories a day and injecting yourself daily with HCG, which comes from pregnant women's urine) and while watching them shed pounds is envy-invoking, I know that I would be a raging bitch if I only ate 500 calories a day. I'll stick to my WW and my points. But there are fewer snacks laying around the back room and more healthy choices to be had.

   We all want to feel skinny. Its time to take the right steps towards being so.

1 comment:

  1. You need to keep posting so I can be encouraged by you. We were at Costco the other day and I LOVE their chocolate chip cookies - but if they aren't in the house, I wont eat them. So we didn't buy. If I need something sweet, I pop a hard candy, which is considerably less than said cookies. And it satisfies my sweet craving. I've also been using Agave (picked up at Costco) to sweeten my drinks. It is just pure sweet without after taste and better than refined sugar. Still has calories, but better.

    I've been working out for about three weeks now and while the number on the scale hasn't gone donw, my pants are ever so slightly less tight...still tighter than I want, but more comfortable. That at least makes me feel good. Now diet needs to follow.

    I'm thinking about weight watchers, but don't want the commitment. My hard part about food is thinking of ideas of what to make - and thinking of things to make that Brice can eat, too. Maybe i'll find a balance in the new year.