Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Positive Alternative

He was tall, dark and handsome and sitting across from me in a booth at Denny's at about 1 am on a Saturday morning. I had just left another less than stellar date when he called and wanted to meet up, mostly to avoid having to walk into his house and past his roommate and girlfriend having sex on the sofa. "The whole place probably reeks of vagina."

Yes, folks, I was a positive alternative to a house reeking of vagina. I should have just gone home right then and there. But I was hungry and craving those pancake puppies that Denny's has on their menu, so I went. And while no penises were displayed for me, TDH did pull out his Droid, brought up my profile and began to compared my pictures "the real deal". When I admitted that of course they were some of the best of best of me I'd put up, he cooed "Awww . . . you think you're ugly, don't you?"

What do you say to that? Yes, I do. You sound like you are either fishing or have horrible self-esteem. No, I know I am smoking hot. You sound conceited and stuck up. Its a double edge sword I didn't ask to play with.

He also started to read to me what I had posted about myself. "You like music and movies. How original!"

"Yes, I know what it says. I did write it. " TDH smirks to himself and I begin to lose interest, in both him (which was only mild to begin with) and my puppies (which were not nearly as delicious as I had recalled). It also did not help that TDH pointed out that they looked like battered testicles.

So at some point, once we were done eating, he gets up and moves to my side of the booth (ahhhh flashbacks!!!) but not to show me his member. He's 6'6" and wanted to stretch out his legs. And there the rest of our 'date' commenced, with both of us kind of talking at each other, not with each other as he watched other late night diners walk in, scantily clad women and bewildered looking men who were quite thrown by this TDH man staring at them.

Then he laid his head on my shoulder. "Your shoulder feels good for a stranger."

I think I'm going to stay that way to him. . . a stranger.


  1. Restaurant booths were obviously designed by a man. A man who knew the best way to woo a woman was to corner her in one and then fire an opening salvo of unrequited physical contact. :D

  2. ROFL! How do you do it? It reminds me how much I don't miss that scene. :) Next time sit very close to the edge of the booth and when they want to come over, get up and use the restroom! Then when you come back sit on the edge...or the other side. :)